- Tear off Mr. LA's hair one fistful at a time until there's nothing left. Or maybe I'd play nice and leave a few strands behind.
- Shove Mr. LA's shiny golf sticks up his arse. Elin (Tiger Wood's ex-wife) would be proud.
- Scream a long string of curses on top of my lungs right in front of his face. Possibly covering his face with my spits... after I chewed a handful of garlic.
- Kick Mr. LA's balls until they're black and blue. You betcha I'd check.
- Wrote a huge L with a permanent marker on Mr. LA's forehead while he's asleep.
- Throw him out of the house and change the keys (ala Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive").
- Play darts with his face (or his black and blue balls?) as the target.
- Empty his bank account. Ha! Who's gonna want you now, Mister?
- Took a really, really deep breath.
- Count to 65.
- Told him no, I did NOT want to get a divorce and that I wasn't going to give up on us that easily.
And what about my husband? His response was a no response. I honestly don't know what will happen in the days ahead.
All I can say is that it's cease-fire. For now.