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Thursday, April 21, 2011

With Friends Like These...

Growing up as an only child, having close friends whom I can trust and share with is extremely important to me.  My mother was never the motherly type.  I don't doubt how much she loves me, but I find that whenever I talk to her, I always steered clear of mentioning anything that might worry her.  I want her to see me as strong and able--a survivor.

Oh, I have no problem sharing with my friends when it comes to these emotions: joy, love, surprise, anger, fear, even embarrassment (uh huh, you've read my other posts, right?).  I'm not a closed-up person when it comes to friendships.  What you see is what you get.   

When it comes to expressing or sharing sadness though, it's a totally different story.

Perhaps because I grew up being an only child?  Or because I was raised by the type of mother who was not big on expressing emotions?  Whatever it is, of all the things I suck at, if I must choose one, it would be my inability to share my own sad feelings with anyone other than myself. 

Instead of seeking others' company or advice, I would go into a hiding mode, where I would ponder over things quietly in my head, cry, and then somehow work myself into feeling normal again.  As you could probably predict, more often than not, whatever the issues were was never really resolved.

What about therapists?  Well, I've tried.  Unfortunately, not even a therapist can make me talk about sad things.  I would just babble on about other things, making jokes and laughing my ass off, all the while avoiding the reason why I came in the first place.  Before you know it, the session would have ended, the therapist would have this big grin from having laughed so much, and I would leave without mentioning anything that would indicate the sad mess that was in my head.

But today... today I am sad.  Predictably, my mind blanked out when I tried to write down how I feel.  Couldn't elaborate.

So what do I do at a time such as this?  I called up my buddies, Mrs. Mouthy and Ms. Lips.  I told them I needed a distraction.  I need to drown my sorrow with some alchy and loud music.  Anything that would beat the shit out of whatever it is that's in my head right now.  I need to force myself to feel "normal" again.  Bitchy, I can do.  Psycho, even better.  Pathetic, helpless chick hag?  SO not me.

As always, Mrs. Mouthy and Ms. Lips didn't disappoint.  No questions ask, they agreed to a night out.  We aimed high, with plans to go clubbing and partied like college girls on their spring break.  A quick glance into the mirror sobered us up though.  So we decided to tone-down it a few notches to... going karaoke!.  So folks, that's where I'm going tonight!  Mrs. Mouthy, Ms. Lips, and me, Sweaty.

So I bid you good day for now.  I WILL BE BACK. 


  1. Oh I know those days. I've had those days all in a row, I believe they call them a week! Have fun at karaoke, sing a song for me, won't cha??

  2. You are going to have fun tonight. Nothing like a girl night out to help you feel better. Sounds like you have some awesome friends.

  3. I have a hard time with sad for different reasons. my mom was emotional,still is, but i always felt she liked to be mean until she'd make me cry- or if she was sad/upset- she felt I should be, too- so I learned to suck it up- to not giver her the satisfaction.

    anyway- glad you have good friends to distract you!

  4. this is sorta like a joke, right? 3 people walk into a bar...Sweaty, Mouthy & Lips?Have fun kids. Be good. Or bad. Whatever it takes

  5. Hey stopping by and following from the hop. I also wanted to invite you to link up with my Wordless Wednesday hop.

  6. Where did you come from, cool lady?

    You are just my style.

    Just my misfit style.

  7. tomorrow morning i will be expecting the full run down of all the showtunes and 80's hits you rocked the sh*t out of. I hope you have danced on a couple tables and drowned your sad little sorrows in a few martinis.

    and snap out of it, girl! don't want you to be sad no mo sistah!


  8. Alison: yep, it was one of those days, I guess. And yea, I actually dedicated a song for you: "Who's That Chick?" (by David Guetta & Rihanna). LOL

    Rochelle: Indeed! They're the best bffs a girl could ever ask for!

    Kimberly: sorry to hear about your mom :( Mine is alright. She's just not one to show strong emotions, that's all. Hope you have friends to distract you too, on such days...

    MommaKiss: LOL the joke is that. it's not a joke!! But yes, Mouthy, Lips, and Sweaty had lotsa fun :))

    Tamara: thanks so much for dropping by! I will check out your Wordless Wednesday hop!

    The Empress: (I'm star struck) coming from you, it's such a compliment! Thank you, you've made my day!

    Tenetia: thanks, sista! I will give you a full coverage of my performance last night! Hahaha

  9. Sad days suck! I know what you mean about going to the therapist and making them laugh. When I did therapy for depression my mom would get so pissed. *lol* I told her how I had the Dr. laughing. She would tell me it was time for me and not the Dr.

    Its even worse when bad days sneak up on you. I hope you had fun. *hugs*

  10. wine with girlfriends is my therapy. twice a week we get together and banish the kids upstairs. if only i had a lock on the stairs to keep them up there longer.

  11. Love your blog! Thanks for joining our Terrific Thursday Blog Hop! Be sure to join us in the fun next Thursday! :)


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