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Monday, April 4, 2011
The Lament of a Newbie Blogger
When I woke up this morning, with my morning breath and eye crusts still intact, I quickly hopped to my computer. As I waited for my computer to spur to life, my mind was already mentally picking petals off one big imaginary daisy.
They like me. They like me not.
They like me. They like me not...
Of course they like me...
No they do not.
Yes they do, dammit!
And on and on it went.
I typed in my blog's address. My sight already zooming in on the followers bar.
It was also 23 followers three days ago.
Sensing the anal retentive side of me coming, my alter-ego quickly came to my defense: "At least the number stays the same. Could've been a lot worse, y'know." I smiled, appeased by the thought.
Not for long.
This time, it's my OCD side checking in: "Go on, look at the page views. Maybe some more people read your blog. They just didn't know how to click on the follow button." I admit that was a bit too desperate. I mean, how hard can it be to place a finger and click? But hey, can't really blame the OCD side for trying.
It was 577 last time I checked.
9 hours ago.
Uh oh. My namaste moment ended right there.
Holy Hucking Fell, does this means absolutely no one read my blog during those nine hours? As in like, NOT A SINGLE PERSON in this Whole Wide World dot com??? Was the internet globally down last night? Maybe Blogger took its system down for maintenance purposes? Is it a lack of exposure? Could it be I'm not in any of the blog hops and so the many blogs conspired to boot me out? Did I offend anyone? Maybe it's time I start begging? Retweet more? Ask my husband to make it mandatory for his staff to follow my blog? Post a naked pic of some male model and pretend I'm him? That might work with the mommy bloggers, wouldn't it? Am I pathetic? Yes I am pathetic. Oh God, that must be it! I AM pathetic and nobody likes me. My blog sucks and I should just end my stint as a blogger right now.
Note to friends: does this look like someone who'd appreciate another Don't Sweat book this year? I think not.
"Mommy? Are you awake?" came a little voice through the slightly opened door.
"Yes, sweetheart. Come in and give Mommy a big good morning hug," I replied.
"Good morning!" said my daughter as she threw her small arms around my waist. "I love you, Mommy."
I squeezed her tight and kissed the top of her hair. Here, in my arms, I've found my little follower--the only one that mattered most.
Suddenly those numbers on the screen ceased to be of consequence. I logged off, turned off my computer, and gave my little girl my 100% attention.