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Friday, April 1, 2011

The Way We Were

I remembered the first time I met my husband.  I thought he was an arrogant rat bastard with overgrown ego who didn't even look at me when he shook my hand.  A year later, I met him again.  Yep, he was still an arrogant rat bastard with overgrown ego, who was seeing another girl at the same time he was asking me for a date.  Four years later.  We met again.  Uh huh, still an arrogant rat bastard with overgrown ego.  But I guess third time's the charm, because this time for some unknown reason he fell head over heels for me.  Given that I'm a sucker for unrepentant bad boys, what else could I do but oblige?

Oh it was some courting alright!  I must admit, the guy was smooth!  I was swept off my feet by this seemingly reformed callous heartbreaker, who mooned over me and told our mutual friends that he's found the mother of his children--me.  Like a moth to a flame, I was lost, I was smitten.  His arrogance and reputation became something that flattered me even more.  I couldn't see any flaws, I loved just about every single thing about him down to the little details:
- his hands (such masculine hands!),
- his gait (slightly bowed, giving him that relaxed yet confident cowboy walk),
- his nose (so perfect, so nicely shaped!),
- his hair (slightly wavy, curled around the nape, love it!),
- his love for sports (awww, so active, so lively!),
- the authoritative way he carries himself (grrrrrowlll! I love a man in charge!)
Even little inconsequential things like the kinds of music he played in his car became another thing for me to love and admire.

Fast forward 11 years later:
- his hands (hmm, his fingers look kinda stunted.  Masculine, but stunted.  And what was that I heard the other day about how the length of a man's fingers having to do with the size of his you-know-what?)
- his gait (yoohooooo, yeah, you! Could you just walk a little slower?  I mean, you're waaay over there, and I'm like way back here. Can't you see your wife's wearing 9 inch heels here?!?)
- his nose (uhm, darling, do you mind? Your nose's a little shiny there. Could you, like, maybe wash your face a bit more? Want me to put that Ultra Deep Pore Cleansing strip, your nose's starting look like strawberry pits).
- his hair (don't move! I think you're losing hair at the back. Want me to take a picture of it?)
- his love for sports (what do you mean you have another round of golf tomorrow morning? You just played, like, this morning!  Oh great, does that mean you'll be snoring by 9 pm tonight?  Say again? You're playing squash? When, now????)
- the authoritative way he carries himself (why, you domineering sonofa%*^@#! No, I'm not an idiot, so stop talking to me like I am one! Me?? I'm defensive? Go to the mirror and look at yourself, you pompous ass!)
The little inconsequential things like the kinds of music he plays in his car?  How on earth did I ever think he has great taste in music??  (What did you say, dear?  No, it's not by an up-and-coming artist.  The name's Lady Gaga. Oh, you've never heard of the name?  Yeah, I guess you can call her new then.  She's been around for, oh like... the last TWO FUGGIN YEARS for goodness sake!!)

Ok, so I've changed (duh).  I know I can be quite a pain in the ass sometimes.  But cut me some slack, will ya?  I bet my husband feels the same way too.  The difference between us though, he would never confess such a thing in my presence.  He's really smart that way. What can I say?  My husband's a rat bastard.  One who'd make such a good lawyer* too!  Want a proof?
*If you're not sure whether this is a compliment or an insult, you'd find the answer in my post "Lawyers."

My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. I usually sleep much later, around 2-3 am.  Until then, I usually stay up late in my private study, catching up on my reading and blogging, or simply just watching some chick flick that my husband definitely won't like on dvd.  One night, I  fell asleep on the couch in my study while watching a movie on TV.  When I awakened, it was around 6am.  Groggy and sleepy, I went to my bedroom, slipped under the covers and tried to steal a few more minutes of sleep.  When my husband woke up around 7:30am, I was already up.  As he finished getting dressed and about ready to leave for work, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, "Wow, I had such a good sleep last night!  The best I've had in a long time!"  To which I replied, "Oh Really?"  "Must be because you were sleeping so close next to me last night," he added.  The man can have such a sweet mouth sometimes.

The only problem was : that night, the night he supposedly "had the BEST sleep in a long, long time," was the one night I fell asleep on the couch.  I wasn't even on the damn bed, much less sleeping "so close" to him that night!  And the rat bastard didn't even notice!!!

The good housewife side of me was tempted to stay quiet and let the whole thing go.  Let my dear husband have his five seconds of thinking he's still Da Man, with his sweet talk and all that.  But by then the hilarity of the situation and the satisfaction from knowing how instantaneously I could throw his bullshit back at that smug face of his, proved too much for my bitchy side to ignore.  I looked at him, and as if he sensed something was off, he paused and said, "What?"  To which I burst out laughing, jumping up and down with glee (see the sick, perverted things I took pleasure in after years of marriage).  I pointed my finger at him and said, "Ha! Gotcha, Loverboy! I so caught you bullshitting this time!  I wasn't even in the room last night!  I fell asleep on the couch, you moron!"

For those of you who are married, do you remember how it was when you first fall in love with your husband?  What attracted you to him in the first place?  Was it his charming personality?  His looks?  His endearing peculiarities?  His brilliant mind? Was it something he said?

How has it changed (for better or worse) after a few, and years and years of marriage? After becoming parents?  After getting older?  After seeing your husband at his most comfortable, in his natural habitat? 


  1. Just found you on Bloggy Moms! Following you via RSS :) You're super entertaining and I'm looking forward to reading your posts! You can find me at


  2. Yes its true there are the things you fall in love with and then after many years, 18 for us you think why in the hell did I like that about him! I am still very happy I found my guy but I think after so many years they start to get comfortable and let it all go like farting, scratching and the noises they make and just plain annoy the "F" outta you all when all I want to do is to be left alone!

    Hey I'm not perfect either but I think sometimes hes worse, lol!


  3. oh girl, i cannot publish my answers to your questions at the end of of this wouldn't be fair to my husband being as his list of loves for me has only grown, and my list of loves for him has well, changed, to say the least...

    thanks for the "i feel ya" post. loved it!


  4. Hi Jennifer, thanks for dropping by. Followed you back!

    Hi Megan/Funky Woman, I concur. Re: hubbies. We are imperfect but they're worse. Love it! In fact, I shall make that one of my mantras for when the hubby is putting me on one of those guilt trips.

    Dear Tenetia, thanks for being such a regular. You know that for a newbie like me, it's the highest form of compliment :)

  5. Very funny. It is so true how what attracted us at the beginning suddenly annoys the piss out of us.
    Since the Mr. and I met online it was his voice. Deep and sexy. As time has gone one, I still love the voice. The only time it annoys me is when he watches Dwjia's That Donkey Guy and keeps talking like that.
    I loved his huge mitt hands. Now I wish he would wash under his finger nails more.
    I could go on, but you get the idea.


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