F*ck, I've Lost My Writing Mojo

Let me be honest with you.  Lately I've felt like I've lost my writing mojo.  I had no desire to write, nor felt any inspiration that could motivate me.  Many times I just stared at the blank screen before me, wishing for a struck of genius to smack me in the head, to no avail.  There were also times when I've written four or five paragraphs of something, only to click on Ctrl A then Delete because they were f*cking rubbish.  

Among those that got deleted:

•  My Mom Had a Crush on My Doctor... What the Hell? (quit that mid writing)
• F*ck You Midlife Crisis! (too much expletives)
• The First Time I Got Really Drunk (lame-O)
• My Sex Life Sucked (what's new?)
• My Nemenis Married My Cousin and Befriended My Sister-in-Law (too Jerry Springer-ish)
• I Tried Writing Prompts but I'm Too Stupid to Understand What I'm Supposed to Do (I think the title says it all)

So what have I been doing with my blogging time?

• Watched "Megamind" with my 6 year-old daughter and surprisingly laughed my ass off through the whole movie.
• Watched "Adjustment Bureau" alone and bawled because I thought it was one of the most romantic love story ever.
• Went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned just because.
• Listened to Black Eyed Peas' "Never Get Enough" and put it on repeat for at least 50 times.
• Attempted to make crepes, but stopped once I bought the ingredients.
• Participated in as many blog hops as possible.  Minimal writing, people.
• Stalked other people's blogs to check on how many followers they have, and then spent the next few hours feeling bad for myself.
• Snacking non-stop.
• Answered every single one of my blackberry messenger when normally I'd either ignore or deleted them instantly.
• Trying not to cry whenever I see my laptop.
• Uncharacteristically happy when hubby came home from work; I had an excuse not to write my blog.
• Contemplated on trying some weeds and other drug paraphernalia--my imagination tend to run wild whenever I'm uninspired.
• Took naps at unlikely times just to avoid writing a post.

What do you do when writing eludes you?  (For those who never experience this...f*ck you! Nah, just kidding...I'm just f*cking jealous!!! Can't you tell?!?)