Ten Things You Should Never Ask Your Spouse

Ten Things You Should Never Ask Your Spouse 

(Or Maybe It's Just Mr. LA*)

10) While I prepared the baby, would you help me set up the diaper bag, love?

Most likely outcome: the diaper bag would be filled with all the things you DON'T need.

9) Did you remember___ , back when we were still going out?

Most likely outcome: he doesn't remember, and you'd be pissed off.

8) Honeybun, which color would suit me best?

Most likely outcome: if he knows the answer, believe me, you'd soon start wondering whether or not he really isn't playing for the other team.

7) What's your sexual fantasy?

Most likely outcome: do your really want to open the Pandora's box?  Yeah, I don't think so.

6) Why are your um, 'feet' so... small?

Most likely outcome: would you like it if your hubby tells you your vagina's too large?

5) During sex: Sorry hun, could you perhaps finish off quickly?  I kinda want to pee.

Most likely outcome: sudden erectile dysfunction, followed by possible midlife crisis. 

4) Who's prettier?  Me or her?

Most likely outcome: do you really want to know the honest answer?

3) Would you prove your undying love for me by buying me that diamond on the window?

Most likely outcome: he really doesn't love you that much, and then you'd be heartbroken.

2) Darlin', isn't tomorrow *your* birthday?

Most likely outcome: let the man thinks he's still 21, will ya?

1) Do you love me?/ You cheatin'? Again?

Most likely outcome: it's a no brainer, really.

*  For those of you who's here for the first time (since this is the first time ever I am linking up at Mama Kat's), Mr. LA is FYI my husband.  In a nutshell, five months ago he told me he might be having a midlife crisis.  A few weeks later, he wanted a divorce and confessed that he has not loved me for a good portion of our twelve years together.  Me, always the masochist, insisted we could work things out.  The verdict is still out, at the moment.  Please don't feel bad for me.  This is just some background info.  Feel free to laugh at my post! :) 

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Thoughtful Thursday and Other Thursday Hops

Link Up With Us Every Thursday on 

 THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY Blog Hop!

It's So Easy:  

1. Follow the hosts: Look who Found the Marbles, Do Sweat the Small Stuff and Rock and Drool.  
2. Link up your favorite post from the past week and check out some of the other great sites in the linky.
3. That’s all there is to it!

Hosted by Look Who Found the Marbles , Do Sweat the Small Stuff and Rock and Drool

<a href="http://dosweatthesmallstuffblog.blogspot.com/search/label/Thoughtful%20Thursday" _mce_href="http://dosweatthesmallstuffblog.blogspot.com/search/label/Thoughtful%20Thursday"><img src="http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g345/dosweatthesmallstuff/ThoughtfulThursdayBlogHop.png" http://i1097.photobucket.com/albums/g345/dosweatthesmallstuff/ThoughtfulThursdayBlogHop.png?action=view&current=ThoughtfulThursdayLinky.jpg" alt="Found the Marbles" width=”125″ height=”125″border=0 /></a>

Also linking up with:

Hosted by Obviously MARvelous and SmookieStyle

Hosted by hosted by Rondi from WAHM Resource Site and Crystal from My Life as Mom and Wife.  This weeks guest host for the #3 spot is HES the worlds MEANEST BOSS!

Breakfast Fit For a Queen! (Wordless and (Not So) Wordless Wednesday)

Mommy:  Miss Chatterbox and I arrived in London, UK, yesterday.  Didn't get to take pictures yet, but hopefully today we will.  Here's one to start the day (it's 8am in the morning here)...

Miss Chatterbox's Breakfast in Bed (Fit for a Queen!)

Miss Chatterbox:  Will post more pictures later... if Mommy remembers to take one.  Ta-Da!

Linking up with:

The End at the Beginning of the Rest of My Life

This week's RemembeRed prompt: In “On Writing” Stephen King wrote, “The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”  Write a memoir post – first-person and true – inspired by that statement.  Word limit is 300.

What have I done?  I’ve let someone else in, and now he’s turned my world upside down, making me giddy and smile and sigh like a lunatic.   He was like a madness to your calm, a variability to your symmetry.  He’s taken claim on my defenseless heart, holding it captive, making his presence known.

I still remembered the last time you held my heart in your hands.  Always with gentleness, always loving, always trusting.  Your eyes sang their praises whenever you looked at me, believing in me more than I’ve ever believed in myself.  I felt content, treasured, and safe.  Feelings that were now slipping through my hands, even though I tried to hold on to them, hoping they would forever be clenched in my fists.

Even now, I still reached for you in the darkness of the night.  I missed your familiar scent, faithful smile, the warmth feel of your body against mine.  When I heard his voice calling me--a new term of endearment foreign to my ear--I ached for that other voice.  Yours.

He brought with him looming uncertainties.  I sensed that he would be the death of me, yet I could not resist.  I was now and forever would be his.  You had always been my safe harbor, only this time I could not--would not--find my way back to you.  While my heart still throbbed and longed for you, I knew I had to let you go.

I wished I could have both of you in my heart--the best of both worlds.   I should have known better than to let him in.  But I could not undo what I had done.  I needed him as much as I needed air to breathe.

I could not live without him.   And for that I had to live without you.

Sweaty and Miss Chatterbox Go Union Jack

Sweaty and Miss Chatterbox will be visiting the Queen London on October 10-16th.  I wished I could say that I've prepared scheduled posts for the next week, but for those who've known Sweaty, you all know that is NOT how her mind works.  Yes, it always drove me crazy to do things at the last minute, but at the same time, that seemed to be the only way I could get my uncooperative mind to work its best. 

I do plan to post as usual during my trip, but errr, lets see.  However, I would love it if you still leave me or Miss Chatterbox comments (or love notes) during our leave, so that we know that you still love us!  If you have any good tips about what to do/where to go in London, you can leave that also in the comment section.  And there's no better time than now to catch up on some of my older posts, if you haven't yet read them.

Cheers! Ta.

Why I'm Losing My Mind (A Guest Post by Bernie of One Mixed Bag)

Here today, is one of my best bloggy buddies, Bernie.  I came across her blog, One Mixed Bag, not long after I started mine.  This was the first thing that I saw on her site:

And right there and then I knew I was going to like whoever owned that blog.  I mean, how many people would put THAT image as their blog header and badge?  I quickly read her 'About Bernie' page and then a few of her posts.  Instantly I was hooked.

If there is one person whose heart just shines through, overflowing with kindness and sincerity, it's Bernie.  Just read her posts and you'll see what I mean.  No pretense, just honest, straight-forward goodness.  Like me, Bernie likes to write about simple, everyday things.  Reading her posts are like having a sleepover with your bestie where you'd chat the whole night long about nothing and everything, in your comfiest sweatpants, t-shirt, and no bra.  She's funny without even trying, loyal unlike any others, and helpful in ways that always, ALWAYS exceeded my expectations.

Bernie lives in Billings, Montana, with her lovely husband, Mr. Bernie.  They have a dog named Miss Scoobie and three cats: Captain Luke, Abby, and Gwynnie.  She is obsessed with handbags and all things Halloween; hence all her the funky stuff you'd find at her home, like this bloody Kitchen-Aid (which kicks ass, if I may say so myself), her Cabana boy Gunther (whom I'm increasingly fond of), and her amazing Budugalee cards.

There's never a day since I've started blogging that I didn't think of Bernie.  She always made me smile.  So you could imagine how I felt when she agreed to guest-post for me, not once, but twice!  Yes, twice!!  Ecstatic just didn't describe it.  I was completely floored!  So here is the first guest-post from Bernie!  Take it away, Bern...

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Why I'm Losing My Mind

by Bernie of One Mixed Bag

Hi, Ms. Sweaty's fans.  My name is Bernie from the blog One Mixed Bag.  I adore Ms. Sweaty as I'm sure the rest of you do.  She makes me laugh almost to the point of peeing at times.  She also can tug on my heart strings and make me get a bit teary.  Not to mention all the emotions in between.

When she asked me if I would mind doing a guest post I must admit I was leery.  After all she did one of the most kick ass guest posts, EVER on my blog.  You can read it here.  I really have no way to top that or to even come close.

I'm slowly loosing my mind, which is making writing anything amusing or enlightening difficult.  For some reason I signed up to be in a craft fair.  I don't know what in the hell possessed me.  I'm not a drinker, so I can't claim I was drunk.  I don't do drugs, so I can't claim the drugs made me do it.  I agreed to do this around my "special time of the month."  So maybe it was the Midol and chocolate that clouded my thinking. 

I have only been crafting since January of this year.  It was almost like a dare from another blogger.  I set up my own Etsy shop this summer.  Again, no idea what possessed me.  The shop name is Budugalee.  Say it slowly and out loud.  I'll wait.  Yes, it means exactly how it sounds.  When I got started crafting I was looking for a name.  I told Mr. Bernie, "I know my stuff is going to be Butt Ugly. What should I name it?"  Hence Budugalee was born.  Which is how I ended up doing a craft show.

Its a toss up as to which will cause me to loose my mind first.  The fact I need to get a bunch of cards made, but have no idea how many.  Sitting around watching Judge Judy is not helping to get them done.  Yet, there I sit.  The fact I'm making some cool chalkboard skulls, but don't know how many I need.  I might want to add some other things, but DON"T KNOW HOW MANY I WILL NEED!  Do you see a theme here?



As if that wasn't bad enough, my husband, Mr. Bernie, is helping drive the crazy train.  If he tells me one more time how much money he thinks I should take in on my FIRST ever craft fair, I will lay down and cry or stab him in the eye.  Its a toss up.  When I ask his thoughts on the matter he throws out figures of money.  When I ask about how many items I should have ,he says things like, "Well Bernadette, your banner cost this amount, your booth rental is this amount, blah, blah, blah."  I hate math, so this is not helpful at all.  I want touchy feely ideas of amounts needed.  Heck, I have to bring a calculator to make change for people.  This means I'm not doing a running total in my head of costs.  Mr. Bernie has that covered and reminds me on a semi daily basis my running total.  Such a helper bee.

I figure if someone buys anything, even a card, I will be way ahead.  I will have to refrain from humping their leg in gratitude for buying from my table.  "Oh, thank you so much!! You like me, you really like me!!"  I think it might startle a buyer so I will try not to do that.  It will be in the back of my head.  I want people to like my stuff enough to buy something.  Heck, I'm willing to sell my bra if someone wants it.  Yet, its not homemade and the elastic is saggy, who would want it?  Its not the money, though that is nice.  Its more the idea that I'm a big crafty girl and make ok stuff.

Wish me luck.  Should I survive between now and Saturday, it will be a miracle.

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You can find Bernie at her blog: One Mixed Bag http://onemixedbag.com/
Or at her One Mixed Bag Facebook Page
And she tweets too: http://twitter.com/#!/OneMixedBag

Proud Mommy Moment

As a mommy, I know that I am so, so proud of my daughter.  In fact, if given a chance, I'd probably talk non-stop about her.  But aren't we all, as parents, have our own proud stories to tell when it comes to our children?  Wouldn't we appreciate an offer to tell others of at least one particular time when our children made our hearts soar and our lives really worth living?

So it was to my absolute delight when my dear friend Kirsten invited me to gush about my almost-seven year old daughter at her blog, The Kir Corner, today.  Kirsten hosts Proud Mommy Moments, where she welcomes a different mommy blogger every Thursday to talk about their proud mommy moments.  I would greatly appreciate it if you would hop on over to Kirsten's blog and visit me there.  If you aren't a follower of hers yet, I also encourage you to do so now, because Kirsten is nothing short of amazing.  

Come find me and Kirsten HERE at The Kir Corner today!